Friday, October 28, 2005

A Post about Trust

Somedays, I get frustrated and even sad by the fact that I feel like the friendships I have are all long distance.

Half of the week, I'm in Northridge...the other half, in Eagle Rock/Pasadena. And then there are my friends who I only see once a full moon because they are all a distance away from me. They are with me in spirit I'm sure, but the reality is that with all the people I feel lucky to know and call my friend, there just isn't a predictability I can expect when it comes to communication.

The people I feel most intimate with are people I've grown close to in the past two years. They have taught me a lifetime worth of lessons already and I don't know how to repay them, so I just smile and say the same words over and over again. I think every relationship goes through a process of developments and hopefully you can reach a point where noncommunication is not a pain in the ass but a blessing. My friend Jean Louise calls it a promise.

She likes the idea that we don't have to talk to each other for hours to understand each other. I like the idea too.

If you're lucky people like Jean will help you to realize this promise and keep it, in which eventually calling a friend and hearing that same goddamn voice message for the millionth time will no longer makes you cringe in frustration. And If you're extremely lucky, new personnel will enter your life and after going through a process of developments, will make similar promises to you.

God help you. I hope you can trust these promises. Because lack of communication takes a big leap of faith. A big big BIG leap of faith. But if the outgoing message of your new long distance friend still troubles you, there is something I learned today that you can do to help you along in the faith department.

And so as you call the number of that one outgoing message you'll now have heard for the millionth and one time, you can watch the smile enter your face as you say the same words over and over again.